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| Book Information The Feud of Hoglund and Hjefnarr |
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| ID | 8295 | ||
| Collection | Solstice Summations | ||
No one in Shor's Stand quite remembered how the feud began between Hoglund and Hjefnarr. They were both proud Nords. Hoglund was renowned for his brawling skills and sharp tongue. Hjefnarr was strong as a bull and twice as stubborn. By some accounts, Hoglund insulted Hjefnarr's wife, so Hjefnarr ripped the door off Hoglund's house. By others, Hjefnarr took Hoglund's favorite ax [sic] and broke the handle, so Hoglund told everyone Hjefnarr was a wretched thief.
But everyone agreed on one thing: Hoglund and Hjefnarr were engaged in a bitter feud. After one too many broken tavern chairs and fights that could wake the dead in Sovngarde, the village speakers declared that the two must settle things.
"A test of strength!" demanded Hjefnarr.
"No, a test of skill!" Hoglund retorted.
"It would not be fair to settle this matter with a single challenge," the speakers said. "Therefore, we shall test you in three things that all Nords value: strength, brawling, and drinking."
The two men glared at each other, but nodded. This was acceptable to them.
The test of strength was first. A village speaker took Hjefnarr and Hoglund to the outskirts of town, where two seats had been placed on either side of a flat boulder. She gestured for the men to sit down and place their elbows atop the stone.
"Since you've already destroyed enough of the tavern's furniture, this boulder is where you will battle. You will arm wrestle until one of you wins. You may begin."
Hoglund and Hjefnarr gripped each other's hand tight enough to break the bones of a lesser person. At the speaker's command, the two Nords sprang into action, grimacing as they tried to pin the other's hand to the boulder. Each refused to yield the contest, though Hoglund knew he did not have Hjefnarr's stamina.
They were locked in a silent battle as the sun moved across the sky before Hoglund suddenly yelled, "Is that skeever-eating Beor I see, bringing your wife a mug of his mead?"
Caught off guard by Hoglund's outburst, Hjefnarr's focus slipped and he turned to see what Hoglund was talking about. Hoglund seized the moment and slammed Hjefnarr's hand into the boulder, winning the contest.
Hjefnarr was enraged, but the speaker wouldn't let him challenge it. "There are two contests to go. You have time to redeem yourself."
The next contest involved a one-on-one brawl in the practice yard near Bear Hall. Though Hjefnarr was the stronger man, Hoglund was known to be quick on his feet and skillful in a fight. This was his strong suit.
The two men would be unarmed. The first to fall would be declared the loser.
At the speaker's word, Hoglund and Hjefnarr circled each other. Each wary, they kept their fists high and their feet moving. Hoglund began to test Hjefnarr, stepping toward him and feinting a punch before quickly ducking back out of reach.
During one of these feints, Hjefnarr reached down and grabbed a handful of dirt. Before Hoglund could retreat, he threw the dirt in his opponent's eyes, blinding him. As Hoglund growled and tried to clear his vision, Hjefnarr easily landed a blow that sent him sprawling to the floor.
And so the second contest was decided.
As with Hjefnarr before, Hoglund was angry he'd been tricked. "You're tied now. I suppose it all comes down to the drinking contest," the speaker said. "Go to the tavern. The owner is prepared and has set several casks of mead aside for you. Whoever drinks the most will be declared the winner, settling the feud in their favor."
With that, Hoglund and Hjefnarr trudged over to the tavern, each rankled at the outcome of the challenges thus far.
At the tavern, Hjefnarr and Hoglund drank mug after mug of mead. They were both big men and held their liquor well. As they furiously drank, their grievances resurfaced between refills.
"That was my favorite ax!"
"You said I could borrow it!"
"But then you broke the damn handle!"
And the drinking continued.
"How could you say that about my wife?"
"I was trying to warn you about Beor!"
"You should have just said so!"
And still they drank. They were perfectly matched in this regard, going pour for pour at a steady pace. Soon they emptied one cask. Then another. The tavern owner began to wonder if he had enough mead to sate them.
"You're looking a little queasy there, Hoglund!"
"Not as queasy as your wife on your wedding night!" And miraculously, the two Nords laughed and grabbed each other's shoulders.
"You'll never out drink me, Hjefnarr!"
"Just watch me you soft-bellied loon!"
Before long, Hoglund and Hjefnarr were both red in the face and leaning heavily on one another. A speaker came to check on them.
"Has one of you conceded yet?" she asked.
"Never!" they yelled in unison.
"That's fine," she said. "Do you remember why you were feuding in the first place?"
Hoglund and Hjefnarr hesitated. They looked at one another with unsure eyes.
"Maybe something about my wife?"
"Something to do with my ax?"
"I see," the speaker said. "Well, if neither of you can remember the cause of the feud, then perhaps we can put this all behind us."
Hoglund and Hjefnarr shrugged and nodded, then called for another round. After finishing a third cask of mead, the two slumped off their stools and slept on the floor until morning, when neither of them could remember having feuded at all.